Memorial Day Horoscopes!
Happy Birthday Gemini! In the end, it doesn't matter what good you've done or how well-meaning a person you are, you are still not getting a pony.
Cancer June 21 - July 22
This month's supermoon has done wonderful things for your love life Cancer! Do the work to cultivate what you have now, for it could be the real thing. Or it could just be hallucinations brought on by a nasty case of food poisoning.
Leo July 23 - August 22
Your career is in for a boost, Leo. You finally earn the respect of your superiors this month when they notice that you are beginning to show signs of advanced tool-using behavior.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
Mars is feeling frisky lately and moving at top speed, so for you this means you are more magnetic and able to lead others. Get over your Virgo shyness and be the pied piper of your world.
Libra September 23 - October 22
Mars is making an appearance in your sign as well, good Libra, in your house of solitude, which is making you more introspective. Use this reflection time wisely, meditate and make plans for the future. Oh, who are we kidding? You know you're just gonna veg out on the sofa with some fancy cheese.
Scorpio October 23 - November 21
Mars, Jupiter and Pluto are ganging up in your sign lately, Scorpio, and this means great success for you in your personal life and in business. This is good because you'll need all the help you can get when you run across a shady-looking gang of planets in a dark alley.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
After careful consideration of your case, Sagittarius has decided you are not the sort of person it is looking for.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
Since Venus is retrograde, dear Capricorn, job related matters could be moving slowly. If you are currently working on a project, you may experience a setback. Don't fight the inevitable, just take your time to re-think strategies and take a fresher approach.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
The onset of summer will soon force you to answer a difficult question. Decide now whether or not it is hot enough for you.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
Lucky Pisces, Uranus is in your house of wealth, so you may soon enjoy a financial windfall! Be circumspect in spending this money, however, or the PTA might get a new treasurer.
Aries March 21 - April 19
The stars have noted that you are still single. They find this to be hilarious.
Taurus April 20 - May 20
May has been a fantastic month for you, sweet Taurus, but I have to break it to you that Venus is now retrograde. This may be slowing things down that you previously thought were going swimmingly - especially in your love life, but also possibly in fiances. It's only temporary, so just take it easy in the next few weeks and catch up on reruns of the Fresh Prince.