Horoscopes for the start of Spring!

If you're looking for a new or better position in your career, Aries, just sit back and watch it happen! Wait, that doesn't sound right....in fact its kinda ridiculous, isn't it? Stand up for yourself, get your head right and take those steps necessary to make your dreams happen!

Taurus  April 20 - May 20

You have impeccable taste, Taurus, and are also quite the romantic, which works well for you right now. Love is all around you, and your life is quite full.... I'm picturing a giant marble fountain flowing with Dom Perignon, fueled by your effusive charm. I just hope you invite me to this party (it was my idea, after all)!

Gemini   May 21 - June 20

Good things are happening in your house of other people's money right now, clever Gemini, and your quick-thinking abilities and persuasiveness would make this the perfect time to carry out that pyramid scheme you've been toying with. Or you could use your powers for good and apply for a loan, refinance a mortgage, claim a settlement, or pitch a business proposal to a potential investor.

Cancer  June 21 - July 22

Relax, Cancer, your day in the sun is here. Forget all about Marsha, Marsha, Marsha and revel in your Jan-tabulous-ness.

Leo  July 23 - August 22

Time to take off those tacky bedazzled dish gloves (you know what I mean) and actually get your hands dirty, sweet Leo.

Virgo  August 23 - September 22

Virgo, if you don't want your valuables lost or stolen, I suggest destroying or selling them right away.

Libra   September 23 - October 22

Say, Libra, ever considered a career in panhandling? Now's the time to live the dream, because people just can't say "no" to you right now.

Scorpio   October 23 - November 21

Ground control to Major Tom.....Scorpio, get your head out of the clouds! Keep things reasonable and practical right now, you'll have plenty of time later for your daydreaming and lofty ideas.

Sagittarius  November 22 - December 21

Do you have a hot date this week, Sagittarius? The stars are saying YOU don't, but the lucky dog who's going out with you does!

Capricorn  December 22 - January 19

George Burns once said "happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." Deal with those family problems now, before they move in with you.

Aquarius  January 20 - February 18

Sorry, Aquarius, the planets are whispering in my ear that love is not in the forecast for you. Don't worry though, "romance" is just another one of those buzz words that people throw around that don't really mean anything, like "maternal" or "addiction."

Pisces  February 19 - March 20

If you can't use your words, Pisces, sing it in a song, paint it on canvas, or capture it with your camera. There's more than one way to communicate and it may behoove you right now to find alternative means to express yourself.  Vogue it out if you have to.