Luigi Mangione to Give 1st Virtual “Book Talk” at Ocracoke Library Event
Following his late February court appearance and its warranted influx of lipstick-signed letters (Nintendo was right—green is Luigi’s color!), suspect in the United Healthcare CEO murder Luigi Mangione reportedly asked his legal team for the opportunity to speak virtually about his “Manifesto” —preferably to a public library audience. (Luigi really is a man of the people.)
The young heartthrob and alleged gunman has received thousands of letters from supporters both sharing their stories concerning the American healthcare system’s failures and promising conjugal visits, but according to Mangione’s lead defense attorney Karen Friedman Agnifilo, one writer’s words in particular stood out to him—and inspired him to try and share his own somewhat infamous words.
“Luigi was very touched by Sundae’s messages,” Agnifilo said, alluding to Ocracoke librarian Sundae Horn’s dedicated, while one-sided, correspondence with the defendant, currently imprisoned in a Brooklyn detention center. “He looks forward to speaking to the small island audience—a place un-corrupted by corporations, and, really, a potential socialist paradise. He believes the meaning of his work can truly take root here.”
Horn and the Friends of the Library board are thrilled to be Mangione’s first choice as the “recipients of his generational wisdom.” Mermaid’s Folly is already designing T-shirts with the suspect’s face photoshopped onto the body of a cartoon pickle playing on the island’s esteemed pickleball courts, the words “deny, depose, and DEFEND THE KITCHEN” bolded in hot pink.
“I never could imagine anything would actually come of it,” Horn said, when asked her thoughts on Mangione’s request. “I think what probably made my letters stand out was their optimism—when you’re found not guilty, when you get out, we’d love to host you here at the library. And, you know, like, ‘hey Luigi, we see you like to pose in boardshorts, did you know we’re the only place in America where you can walk shirtless in the bank? Our library is one of the most ab-friendly locations of its kind!’ I really just wanted my letters to feel like normal, down-to-earth invitations, librarian to patron.”
Ocracoke School middle and high schoolers will receive extra credit for attending the three and a half hour event, which has been described on its flyers as “a crash course on anarchy, correcting class consciousness, and suffocating neo-capitalism – one billionaire at a time!”
Parents of students expressed concerns at the school board meeting Monday evening, complaining that Mangione’s warm-welcomed influence has won him a “new and unwelcome spot at the dinner table.”
“Dinnertime is supposed to be a time where we catch up with our teenage son’s very busy life,” one PTA mom said, wishing to remain anonymous. “Now, all my son will ever talk about is Luigi’s “‘aura-mogging.’ What the hell is that?”
One self-proclaimed “Roaming Youth” (see Ocracoke Observer July 2024 issue) also wishing to remain anonymous credited Mangione with his decision to boycott Ocracoke Health Center, as well as his piqued McDonald’s cravings.
“The way he eats that hash brown is so tuff,” the Youth said. “Fuck flu shots.”
Local real estate tycoon Buck Poor condemned the school’s extra credit offering via Facebook. He called Mangione a “terrorist” and “the one—and only—exception to the Second.”
If the state of New York and Mangione’s legal team approve his “book talk” collaborative with Ocracoke Library, the event is slated to occur on June 13, the same day as Ocracoke School’s graduation ceremony. One senior said anonymously that he’ll also be drinking for Mangione that night.
“Bro’s got spine,” the senior said.
