A Pirate's Easter

Rob Temple
A Pirate's Easter

Capt. Rob's piratical poem will help you celebrate the holiday!


Our six-year pirate cruise was finally drawing toward its end

We had more treasure stashed away than we could ever spend

And it was early April when we headed to the shore

Where we would divvy up the loot and put to sea no more


Our captain fetched the treasure map and spread it on the sand

“X marks the spot” he said with glee  “our loot is near at hand”

We headed off into the brush with great anticipation

With picks and shovels in a rush to start our excavation


As soon as we came to the spot now blast me wouldn’t you know it

Up spoke our cook the one-eyed Scot, a sentimental poet

He had us put our shovels down and pause for some reflection

He passed a jug of rum around lest there be some objection


“Me lads,” he said, “for six long years we’ve sailed the seas together

That’s how it’s been through thick and thin and every sort of weather

And every scurvy one o’ ye is sure me trusted friend

Now that we’re done it’s I for one who’s sad to see it end


And ere we digs the booty up and goes our separate ways

I say it’s not the loot but our pursuit we’ll cherish all our days

It’s not the chest we’ll value best when we dig up the treasure

But our adventures and the quest that gave us so much pleasure.”


And then the poor lad shed a tear and as his sobs grew louder

We would have shot him then and there but dared not waste the powder

So snatching up our spades and picks we turned to with a will

We heard a “clunk!” at half past six that gave us all a thrill.


We knew our box had made that clunk but something wasn’t right

For as we hoisted up the trunk we noticed it felt light

And opening it with fading hope we surely could have died

For a letter in an envelope was all we found inside


The captain quickly opened it which we thought most considerate

To all us pirates it seemed fit since we were all illiterate

He scanned it darkly then he cried, “This really isn’t funny!”

“What gives?” we asked and he replied “It’s from the Easter Bunny!”


We all crowded round to hear our captain read the note

And in a voice devoid of cheer, he read it and I quote:

“Dear pirates, I do truly hope this finds you in good health

As you can see, I took a rope and made off with your wealth


I’ve spent it all on Easter eggs for every girl and boy

And chocolate drops and jelly beans and such to bring them joy

And when they find the eggs I hide in unexpected places

It ought to fill your hearts with pride to see their happy faces


We’ll help them learn what you have learned or should have learned by now

It’s not what you’ve found or what you’ve earned that counts but rather “how

As you well know from your pursuit of gold from place to place

The treasured memory that you’ll hold is found within the chase


But just in case you start to feel your booty’s hard to part with

You rascals should remember that it wasn’t yours to start with!

I’m sorry to have wrecked your plan and I’d like to leave you smilin’

So I’ve hidden eggs for all of you to hunt for on this island


Cheer up old dogs and get a grip and get up off your keister

Go hunt those eggs, relax a bit and have a Happy Easter

Enjoy your comrades and your health – forget about the money

True joy cannot be bought with wealth.  Your friend, The Easter Bunny”


We all sat in wonder as we thought of what was read

And it surely was, by thunder, just like what our cook had said

A favor had been granted though we hadn’t thought to ask it

And each pirate felt enchanted as he skipped off with his basket


Though we pirates suffered fearfully from thistles in our legs

We searched the island cheerfully to find those Easter eggs

But pirating’s addictive and it’s hard to break the habit

So if we ever get the chance, we’ll barbecue that rabbit!


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